QUALITY FAITH | ABI GLEDHILL
Recently I read a book by Bill Johnson called ‘Manifesto For A Normal Christian Life’. It is a collection of five talks that Bill Johnson, from Bethel Church in Redding, California, did when he visited Holy Trinity Brompton in London and I seriously recommend...
One line that really stood out to me was where he said, “The disciples themselves asked Jesus to increase their faith. And he changed the subject.”
He changed the subject...
Isn’t it crazy to think that actually the disciples struggled to feel like they had enough faith - even they struggled to have enough faith sometimes and that didn’t bother Jesus. Jesus wasn’t bothered by how much faith they had.
Bill goes on to say
“He [Jesus] didn’t want to talk about the quantity of their faith. He wanted to talk about quality, the nature of the faith they had.”
This paints such an inspiring image of God and is so encouraging for us as we don’t have to have heaps and heaps of faith – life is hard and things make us doubt and question, but that does not make us any less Christian or worthy of His love.
It is part of a ‘Normal Christian Life’ to doubt and to feel like you don’t have enough faith, and I think we have to be honest about that – to have an honest relationship with God you have to bring everything; all the hurts and frustrations, anger and bitterness, the good and the bad.
Natalie Brenner said, “I craved to make my faith as real as possible, which meant being recklessly honest in His presence”. God wants us to be honest with Him even if we are questioning Him; it’s a relationship and in order for it to be honest and trustworthy you have to be real and say what you think.
In worship I find I can sometimes feel as though I am not able to stand up and lead people when I may be questioning the very thing that I am singing out over people and into their lives. We can sometimes feel like we cannot sing the words on the screen if we’re struggling to believe them.
But something that I have found is sometimes you have to sing it in order to believe it, because something significant happens when we choose to worship in the midst of a battle.
Taya Gaukrodger, a worship leader from Hillsong Church, said, “you can’t be in the presence of God without softening your heart and being in a very honest and real place because we have been called to be worshippers in spirit and truth...”
I find that just incredibly inspiring and a reminder of how we can still sing and worship God when we are facing our struggles and doubts.
When you are vulnerable with others they are able to relate to you, we are called to lead ‘in spirit and truth’, let’s try not to put our masks on.
Even though sometimes it will feel embarrassing to bring all of yourself before God and like you can’t believe yourself for what you may be thinking or feeling; God is kind.
God is kind. That is how we are able to worship him in this real place of vulnerability because he meets us there and carries us through.
